children at the ballet studio/バレエ教室の子供たち

As my request of changing the date of dispatch to Burkina Faso has been accepted, I had gotten three extra months to stay here in Tokyo. I was originally going to stay here until the beggining of April and was going to be sent to Burkina Faso in about two weeks from today. But because of the change, I am not leaving for Burkina Faso yet though I will be leaving Tokyo in about three weeks. My extra three months will come to the end on 9th of July as I am going to Nagano prefecture to study French and possibly some other essential things for living in Burkina Faso. In the last three months, I feel like I didnt really do anyting, but on the other hand, it feels like so much have had happened. Something I know for sure that it was really SOMETHING was the encounterment at the ballet studio.




My friend who was my co-woker and roommate in New York had been back in Tokyo about 1 year and half ago and she was starting to teach a ballet class to little Japanese kids in English. She asked me if I knew anyone who would be interested in taking the position of her assistant, and somehow, it ended up myself doing it. That happened in the early April. Today was the last day of my work there. We've found a new assistant who can take over my position and I have to leave for Nagano pretty soon. 




After graduation highschool, the first job I've gotten was working as an actress/ mime in a troupe that travels elementary schools in Japan. I was certainly not good at that job because, in fact, I really did not like kids back then. As I had no idea how to communicate with them, I also started to work as a swimming instructor for kids in order to get myself used to the environment surrounded by kids. But until the end, I kept feeling that I was bad at being with kids. 




In NY, I also performed in some plays for children. After the show, I had to play with kids but I always felt weiredness and didnt know what to talk about. Many times, I ended up talking with other actors. 




But students from the ballet class led me overcome my weak point. Maybe about for the first three classes, we both (me and kids) were shy, but as we spent time together, some walls between us had been taken off one by one. I think it is an ordinary relationship of human beings to be shy. When we meet someone for the first time, many adults would fake the weirdness in the air and pretend as if there are no reasons to be shy. But kids would just be there as they are, and look strainght in the eyes of a person facing them. So, you cannot fake yourself in front of them. 




I thought I always have been trying not to lie to my heart. But I guess I have been trying resist to the adults who fake themselves and at the same time, I was maybe trying to fake it in front of kids who dont fake anything. I was trying to fake it to feel like we are not shy and having so much fun. weird me.




Kids I met there were always honest. When they felt bad, I felt it too. When they were happy, I was also happy from my true heart. At some point, I realized me being somehow, real, and realized there was nothing weird. I think the weirdest thing was something made up in my mind and did not really exist anywhere. Then, I was loving them. 




I still think I am certainly not good at being with kids because I would need some time to really look at the kid as one person and know her well in order to really come to like her. I would not be able to like them just because of the fact that they are kids. However, the encounterment with them and the 10 lessons we have done together certainly changed my perspective of children. I seriously do like them and wish them all the best.