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セヴェリン/ Cévéline

セヴェリンと仲良くなって行く。彼女は最初、明らかに私を「別のもの」として見ていたし私も彼女を別のもの、「貧しい子」として見ていた。話しかけずらかった。多分、お互いに。仲良くなれる気がしなかった。いつからだろう、近づき出したのは。

Cévéline and I are getting closer. When she saw me first time, she distinguished me as "something different," as I did distinguish her from me as "someone poor." It seemed difficult to communicate with her. Maybe she thought the same. I didn't think we would ever get along. I don't remember exactly since when we came to start getting close. 

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カボレの家の椅子の中で、テレビを正面にしたソファーは言うなれば上座だ。向かって左のソファーはボコボコだし、右はソファーじゃないし。はじめの頃、その上座に私は座らされて、人がいっぱいになっても、隣には誰も座ってこなかった。でも今は、私が来たからって上座を差し出したりしないし、セヴェリンは隣にくっついて私の膝枕でごろごろしている。

Kabore's couch, the couch that is facing to the TV, is considered to be the best seat (there are other little old couches too) in Kabore's living room. The first some days, she made me sit there and no other person except Kabore (he hires her to cook) had sat next to me. Even when there are too many people that some didn't get their seats, no one had sat next to me. Maybe they thought I was a temporary guest of Kabore from Europe who came to peek in at their life. But now, they wouldn't give me the best couch, and Cévéline would always sit next and hang on me.

セヴェリンはカボレがいなくても、カボレの弟のサリッフと私のため、という名目でご飯を作る。皿にご飯を盛って、さあ食べなさいと言われても、沢山の割とお腹が空いている人たちに囲まれて、一人で食べるってのは気まずくて嫌で、一緒に食べようと誘っても、断られていた。私は誰かに飯を用意されて一人で食べるってのは慣れてないと説明しても、いやいや私たちは家族と後で食べるの、と言われてた。アフリカではグループで、みんなで食べるんだ。その言葉の意味がよくわかってなかった。

Even the days Kabore isn't here, Cévéline cooks for Kabore's younger brother Salif and me (she and other kids will eat later anyway so she cooks a big amount of meal.) as there are always someone at house, though she tells me to eat, I didn't feel like eating alone in front of some supposedly hungry people. I had asked them to eat together, but they had refused my offers. They'd say, " in Africa, we eat in groups." Then I thought 'so I'm inviting you to eat with me.' But now I know that I misunderstood what they meant by "eat in groups." 

ある日、お昼に家に帰ったら、ご飯作ってないよ(カボレいないし作んなくていいよって言った)、家族のとこに行く?と言われ、ついていった。セヴェリンの沢山の家族も、その他の近所の子どもたちも集まってリグラを食べていた。おいで、って言われて、同じボウルから、みんなで手で食べているところにいれてもらった。

One day at noon, as I showed up there, she said "oh I didn't cook today." (I told her that she doesn't have to as Kabore was away.) And she asked me if I'd want to go to her family's. As I followed her I encountered her family and some other neighbors eating RIZ GRAS under some trees. They were 3to 8people in each group eating from one bowl with right hands. 

水で洗った(と言えるかな、水つけてちょっとこすった)右手を米に突っ込んだ。熱かった。みんな慣れてるから手の皮が強いらしい。ちょっとずつ食べてたら、もっと食べろと言われたが、まだ慣れないし手が小さいからちょっとずつなんだと言ったらセヴェリンはスプーンを持って来たけど、ひとりでスプーンなんか使わない。そんなもん、寿司をフォークで食べるようなもんだ。とても美味しかった。その日からセヴェリンは私をvous(あなたの丁寧な言い方)じゃなくてtu(丁寧じゃない言い方)で呼ぶことがあるようになった。敬語が崩れてタメ語が混ざり始めたような感じだ。

I put my right hand into the bowl. The meal was very hot (for my hand.) as I could only eat little by little, Cévéline brought me a spoon but I refused using it. Using a spoon there would almost be like using a knife to eat SUSHI, I thought. Since that day, Cévéline started to use the form "Tu" (not polite) instead of "Vous."(polite) 

同じ釜の飯を食う、というのはファミリーの証だ。仲間に入れてもらえた感じだ。昔潔癖性だった私は他人の清潔とは言えない手がポコポコ入るボウルに自らの手を入れて、それを口に運ぶことに抵抗があった。でも、食べてもお腹も痛くならないし、おいしいし、楽しいし、良いことばっかりだ。

Eating from a same bowl, is like a proof of a family. I felt I was accepted. And I guess I also accepted them. The meal was really delicious. And I was happy. 

デュラ語を話そうとする私を最初はみんなびっくりしたり、笑ったりしてたけど、今はもう慣れた、というか多分尊重してくれてる様で、積極的に教えてくれる。

In the beginning, people were laughing at me trying to say some words in Jula language. But now, they got used to me being like this or maybe they respect my decision of learning Jula, they don't laugh anymore, but instead, teach me Jula everyday. 

次の日、夜に家に行ったらセヴェリンが、みゆはみんなで食べたいんでしょ、アフリカ式に!って言って、おっきなボウルに飯を盛ってくれた。初めて、みーんな一緒に食べてくれた。というか最初から、「私たちはみんなで食べる」って言ってたな。みんなってのは、一つの釜から手でみんな一斉に食べるって意味だって、気づかなかった。私が手で食べててみんな嬉しそうだった。私も嬉しかった。あつくてうまく食べれない私のためにセヴェリンは一度自分の手にとってちょっとさましたご飯を私の手にのせてくれた。愛を感じた。嬉しくて、過保護で、照れくさかった。

The next day at night as I went to Kabore's, Cévéline said "miyu wants to eat with everyone like an African, right?" And prepared a big bowl with rice and sauce. Everyone there, ate with me at Kabore's for the first time. And I remembered what they had been telling me "we eat in groups." To them, each person eating from each one's plate doesn't mean eating together. To them, it had to be this way; eating with right hands from one bowl. As I was having hard time eating, Cévéline started to take some food in her hand and pass it to me so that it's not too hot anymore. I felt her love. Very overprotected I was , but very happy.

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夜はセヴェリンに英語を教えた。みゆはデュラ語を、自分は英語を喋れるようになるんだって言ってた。私たちは、所得が大きく異なる。レストランで食事、みたいなことだって彼女はほとんどしたことないだろう。教科書もリュックも買えなくて、30円のパスタを高いと言う。でも、ちゃんと、好きだ。友達だ。テレビを見て育ったからテレビは好きでもないってこと、洗濯機で洗ってたからシーツみたいな大きな洗濯物のやり方がよくわからないってこと、アメリカに住んでたってこと、2年経ったら多分いなくなっちゃうこと、今だって彼女よりずっとお金持ってるってこと、全部分かって、それでも、デュラ語を知りたい私を、ブルキナファソの人の生活を知りたい私を、尊重してくれてる。だから私も精一杯生きよう。

That night I taught her English. She says I learn to speak Jula and she learns to speak English. There is a huge income gap between us. I don't know how many times in her life that she ate in a restaurant. She cannot afford to buy a backpack or school textbooks and says a pack of spaghetti that costs 30cents expensive. But I love her with no lies. A friend, I can call her. She knows I grew up watching TV so I am not very interested anymore. She knows I always had a washing machine so I don't know how to wash some big bed sheets properly with hands. She knows I lived in the states. She knows I'm probably leaving here after two years. And she knows even now as a volunteer, I do have a lot more money than her. Knowing all that, still, she respects my decision of learning Jula and being here. So, I'll try my best, too. 

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