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日本人の私/Me being here as a Japanese

新しい場所に移動した直後ってわりとコンスタントに色々思って、ああそうだ、いやそうじゃなかった、やっぱりそうだった。なんていうぐあいに。だからこういう時に書いた文章は後から読むと恥ずかしくなることもしばしば。でもその恥ずかしい様な、無知な感覚って好きで、それが欲しくて旅してるのかも。決めちゃうのは好きじゃない。なんだろなって思い続けてる方が好き。

I guess maybe for the first three months or so, I'll be constantly facing to something new and constantly changing my idea for what I encounter here. So writing my thoughts of the moment here might come to be just embarrassing myself, or maybe later I'll find it embarrassing. But I like this sort of "naive-ness" or "undecided-ness" of my own mind, or perception for certain things. I find arts in there. So I don't wait for so long until my opinions will come to be set but I write what I feel today though tomorrow I may think differently.

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とりあえず、一ヶ月は首都にいないといけなくて、あんま自由がなくて駒ヶ根の延長っぽい。ここ一年間ずっと場所を移動し続けて来たから、早く落ち着きたいというのが本音。でもまあ、ブルキナファソの首都ワガドゥグは他の西アフリカの協力隊の任地(セネガルとかガーナとか)の首都と比べると本当なんもないんだろうけど、ビルなんかないし、でも便利だし、ドミトリーの水道水も綺麗。さすがに私は飲まないけど。

 

So for the first month I gotta be here in the capital, doing many given chores, and it makes me feel like I am still in the training camp in Japan, not yet have come to Burkina Faso. It's been more than a year that I continuously have been moving places and now I'd really love to settle down. I can't wait to leave Ouagadougou, to go to my new home. Well, the capital of Burkina Faso must be less civilialized than some other West-African countries' like Senegal, Ghana, Benin, or others which have ocean coasts. There are no buildings here but its convinient and tap water at our dorm is clear. *though i dont drink it*

 

 

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ニューヨークではVISA関係以外で、外国人だって思ったことなくて、自分も含めてみーんなニューヨーカーだった。JICAで派遣されて、すでに生活水準の高いところから始まってて、思想的にもボランティアの我々と現地人、と分けられてて、変な感じ。日本人頼って海外に住んだ経験って実はなくて、とにかく日本サイドから与えられる情報と、自分の目で見たものや見れてないもののバランスが、うまくいかない。ここにいて、外国人の意見ばかりからの先入観を持ったら、外からみた、ニューヨークで感じてた嘘っぽい「虚像のアフリカイメージ」を信じるのと同じなんじゃないかって。

 

In New York, anyone could become "a newyorker." It wasn't one's nationality or place of origin which distinguished one from being outsiders. If one lives in NY, one was identified as a newyorker. I am here now being dispatched under a program (Japan Overseas Coorporation Volunteers) related to Japanese government. So far (considering the trainings before dispatch as well) it's so much making me be aware of the fact that I am JAPANESE.  Well, someone said that threre are only 80 Japanese here in Burkina Faso, and maybe I am going to meet most of them while my stay. Being here under the protection of JICA, or Japan, I am starting my life in Burkina from some much higher level of life than the standards. It's my first time to live in a country with the cordination of Japanese organization. It's maybe great that people give me looooots of information about Burkina  but everytime someone tells me something, I just feel that I need to go see with my own eyes. If I'd consider Japanese people's opinions as the truth, why would i even bother to live here..?  Being between tons of info given by other Japanese people and things i see and i haven't seen, I'm a bit confused. 

 

 

 

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こないだドームのガードのパルレと話してて、『白い肌(私もここに入る)=金ある=良い』、って彼は言ってて(若干嫌みかも)、あとは、自分は金がないからここから出れない、ヨーロッパとか知りたい、でも自分は出れない、ここで死ぬ、って言ってた。他が良いなーって本気で思うのに出れないのは悲しいのかも。他が良いなーって思うのもグローバリゼーション進みすぎの流れよね。知らなきゃ思わないわけだし。ってなるとね、ああ「日本人」として来ちゃったよ、この「外国もあるよ、世界はわりと広いよ」感を伝えちまうのが仕事みたいな感じで来ちまった。元々別に、「いい、悪い」の次元では生きてないからそれがどうっていうんじゃない。どっちがいいっていんんじゃなくて。ただね、自分の立ち位置をちょっと改めて認識したような気がしたかも。

I was talking with the security guard, Parle, and he said something like "white skin (im included here as well) = money = good" and also that "he has no money so he cannot leave the country, to get to know other places such as Europe, but he cannot, and he'll die in Burkina." Maybe it's a sad thing that he cannot get out of there though he dreams to see other places. I so much saw the effect of grobalization here. (the grobalization which started some 500 years ago) When one doesn't know the existance of unknown, one would never dream to gain unknown. Then I thought, "oh, I am being here as a Japanese." well, it's ovbious that I am not Burkinabe and I have more money than him. It maybe is true that just by being here i am telling that "the world is big and there is Japan, and other countries as well" to the people here. I'm not saying wheather it's good or bad, but I just once again, maybe came to realize of my own position.   

 

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